22 weeks.

This is what I look like this week. I'm getting huge!

our peanut. is a little girl named sage!

We found out what peanut is. she's a little girl! i got what i wished for. :)

her name is sage elise allen. and she is either going to come out being a ballerina or a ninja. most of the time i think that its most likely going to be a ninja. she's a pretty active baby. 

i do love her very much. but. she is giving us a little bit of a scare. we went in for our ultra sound at 20 weeks. and. i was super nervous. i was freaking out the whole time. and kyle could not get me to settle down. i felt like i was having a panic attack. then. we get back there and there is no messing around. you lay down on the chair thing. and they squirt a glob of that stuff on. i was afraid that it was going to be cold. but. it was heated up. and. wasn't bad at all. and then. i looked at the tv that they have set up for you to watch. and bam. there's a baby! 

it was amazing getting to see her and watch her squirm around. that was my favorite part. just watching her kick. it felt like i was spying on her. and. it was kinda cool. it was really hard trying to understand how she was laying. because on one side of my tummy she would be looking at the liver. and then. she was checking the head. it was weird. i have no idea how those things work. but i was just wanting to get to the exciting part. they checked everything like the heart and measured her arms and legs. it was great trying to get a picture of her feet. they were moving around all over! there was no way she was going to stay still. and then after peanut moved around a little bit they got to see what the gender is. and then they said that we were going to have a little girl. i was so excited. i almost wanted to cry. it was just overwhelming knowing what we were having. 

then. i almost wanted to cry. (well. i did after a while.) the doctor came in and said she wanted to talk about some of the pictures that the technician had taken that was kind of alarming. so she looks and in between the nose and lips. and because of where peanuts hands were they had put a shadow there. and. they thought that maybe she might have a cleft palette. and it was kinda scary for me. because its on her face. and i dont want something to be wrong with her pretty little face. that would be scary. but. the doctor said that it must have been some bad pictures. because she didn't seem to find a problem. when she looked. and then she also looked at my uterus. and she found that i have a scar and she said that it was unusual for me to have a scar there. but. depending on how it moves when my uterus grows with the baby. i would have to have a c-section because they are afraid that with the labor that they scar would burst and then i'd have a lot of bleeding. and. i was really scared. because. i don't want to have a c-section. they scare me. and. i'm afraid that it would limit how many kids we can have. 

then. we went to the regular doctors appt a week later. and. she was the one that scared me the most. she said that i have a low placenta and she put me on pelvic rest. so no exercise or heavy lifting. and. i didnt really know what that meant. or. what i did wrong. or. why i couldn't have just been normal. i was scared. because. i looked online. and. it was all scary stuff. but. really what it all came down to saying was that. you can bleed and go into early labor. but. basically. you just plan to have a c-section around 37 weeks. if there is no more complications. but. i called my mom. and told her about how i'm so scared. and told her all my horror stories. and. i love my mom. but. she scared me alot too! haha. i should have just told her that i got put on pelvic rest. and a low placenta. not how i was scared. haha. because vicki called me up and she said was like.' i want the true story. are you going to die?' and i was so scared. and i guess mom had told them that it was a possibility. and. i just wanted to be like. no. but. thats not true necessarily. we dont really know what is going on yet. i have another ultra sound in 2 weeks that will determine where the placenta is. and if i will need to still be on pelvic rest. and if i will still need to have a c-section. and when that c-section will be. so. we have some big stuff coming ahead. and how and when our little family will come to be. and. even tho i'm scared of what i dont know. i'm really excited to be a mom and to start raising sage and being a wife and a mother. it just seems perfect. and. it seems like i should have been in this role for forever. its just right. :)

first christmas together!

Kyle's and I Christmas was pretty small. but. very good!

I had tons of plans to make tons of stuff like. our stockings. and. tons of ornaments. we weren't going to get a tree. but. i was going to draw one on some parchment paper. and then. i was going to hang our ornaments on there. and put our presents near that tree. and. it was going to be super cute. but. i dont know what happened. i just didnt seem very motivated to do hardly anything. 

natalie and adam came from oregon and it was nice having them around. i love getting to know their family and. i do love them very much! we had some parties too. one was a white elephant that was pretty embarrassing. at least for me. but. it was fun still. we got away with some dr. pepper. and a honey do list. which. was a gag gift everyone was hoping we'd get. then we also had an ugly sweater party. and. that was pretty fun. we got together before and made some pretty ugly sweaters. mine didnt turn out to bad. so. :) i was happy. i was really afraid that i was going to get one that kem made. 

tyler's. kyle's. and jimi's were the worst sweaters to get!  

:) me and kyle. check out his curled mustache! haha.

we also had a party and richard and pats and had dinner and played games. it was really nice. 

on christmas eve we also made cookies. that didn't turn out so well. some werent cooked enough. and the other ones were burnt. i dont think i'm any kind of baker or a cook. but. when i do try. i mostly just succeed at making a mess. 

check out that bump!!

we didnt have a big christmas. i got kyle a videogame. and he got me a wallet and a boppy that is proving to be very useful even tho sage isnt here yet. oh my goodness. i just realized i havent posted about sage yet!!! that is to come. next time i guess.

anyway. we woke up christmas morning and had breakfast with peggie. and then. we went over to pat and richards and opened present there. it was great. we got away with some really nice gifts. we got some fiesta ware from peggie. and then i got a camera and some things for sage. and kyle got tons of random stuff that i dont remember what it all was. like flash lights and stuff.

but. it was really good. i loved the time that i got to spend with my new family. they are all awesome. and. i really love getting to know natalie and adam and their family! their kids are so great. i wish that they were around all the time that way i could be a great aunt to them. i did miss my family but. i was glad that i got to spend christmas with kyle's family. and share in their traditions. :)